Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
