you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
