So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
