you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
