her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize