Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Your tits are I can't wait for
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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