$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
