You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
