wanna go halves on a baby?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
