please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
