I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize