Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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