Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
They have beer where we have blood.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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