You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
