A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
