I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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