ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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