Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
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