Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
