Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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