Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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