I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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