Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
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