she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
