My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
