It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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