I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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