there's paper in my vomit.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
