Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Panties = found
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
