The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
