Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
