Pregnant stripper...not hot.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize