so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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