Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
