So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
