We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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