I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
