I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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