pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
They have beer where we have blood.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
