careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
