my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
