I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
