I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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