We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
how drunk are you?
Several
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
