I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
did you just send me my own nude
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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