I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
