My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
