I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
