What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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