Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
