census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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