Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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