do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
