I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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