they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
