Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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