i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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