call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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