i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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