she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
