My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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