all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
