I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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