this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
