i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Green mimosas i think yes
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
My penis needs a shock collar
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
