yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
